In the meantime, we enjoyed a lovely vacation with extended family. We spent a lot of time outdoors playing on the beach, swimming in the pool, and riding the golf cart. I truly enjoyed watching Ethan play with seashells, jump ocean waves, walk through a splash pool, and feed ducks all for the first time. His vocabulary is ever increasing, now including dog, bubbles, rain, duck, and all done. What a pleasure to see him grow and learn!
I've known for a long time that I wanted to adopt. I tried to soak up every second of Ethan's infancy, knowing that it would likely be the last time we experience the newborn/infant phase. Don't get me wrong, the sleep deprivation almost killed me. But the snuggles were so soft and the kisses so sweet. And who could forget all the firsts? There was the first smile, the first roll, the first crawl, the first word, and the first steps. Our adopted child will likely be over twelve months old when we meet. We may never experience many of this child's firsts. This bothered me for awhile, knowing that a nurse, nanny, or foster mom, all a stranger to this child, may see these firsts instead. Worse yet, no one may witness them at all, from a child left alone in a crib.
Yet as Ethan continues to grow, he reminds me that there are still so many firsts to come! First time seeing the ocean. First time chasing ducks. First day of Kindergarten. I may never have a newborn again, but I will experience so many firsts with our next child. We will start out as strangers, uncomfortable and unknown. But one day I will see this child's first smile in a safe home, listen to the first giggle with brother, and hear the first "Mama" and "Dada" to forever parents.
"Who brings our chaos back into order
Who makes the orphan a son and daughter
The King of Glory"
(Phil Wickham, This Is Amazing Grace)
