Spring Shows New Life

Earlier this week I was consumed with heartache. For some reason, I was overcome with great sadness while thinking about our future child. So my mind wandered over various questions. Is my baby being abandoned today? Is my baby in pain or in surgery today? While driving home Friday, I noticed that the rain all week brought out lovely flowers and budding trees. Even amongst a time of gloomy clouds, we are actually in a season of new life. "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5) Hold on little baby, I'm coming as fast as I can. I bring with me your hope of a new life!

Today I am at peace with our decision to adopt and the lifelong journey we've started. Amongst our home study report setbacks and health issues, God has still been faithful. "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." (Isaiah 26:3) Our family, friends, and church have shown incredible support for us. We are so grateful to have such amazing relationships surrounding us. We've been blessed recently to meet a few more families that have adopted from China. They patiently answer questions and tell stories, which I love to hear. We've learned about specific online support groups and the Greensboro Chinese School. I know that bringing home a child with a special need, that has spent time in an orphanage or hospital will not be easy. I believe that our family, friends, and church will still be supportive then too. I have faith that my God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will continue to provide peace, joy, and love in our home. 

Keep on Truckin'

So we're still fighting the good fight. Last week we made phones calls, returned emails, edited documents, completed forms, mailed papers, and more. Hopefully our final home study report will be completed soon. In the mean time, we've been enjoying this beautiful weather. We are learning to be grateful for and enjoy our current blessings while pressing forward. We have faith in God's perfect timing and know that He is preparing our hearts for all that is to come.

Love like I'm not scared

Give when it's not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on You

for King & Country - Fix My Eyes (Lyric Video)

Setbacks

Today I received a call from our adoption agency CCAI. Unfortunately, it was not good news.

Our last home study meeting was at the beginning of February. We returned the edited rough draft of our home study report mid February. We didn't hear anything back for awhile so we started authenticating and sealing our other documents (to avoid date expiration). We were anxiously awaiting the home study report to apply for the I800A. Then we still have to authenticate and seal those two documents. In March I started calling our home study agency, CHS, for report updates. After receiving the rough draft from our social worker, CHS had to send it to CCAI for review. After all revisions, the report will then have to be reviewed by the CHS Board at a Tuesday meeting before finalization. 

CCAI called to say that our home study is missing several components. This may mean another meeting, some major revisions, and more supporting documents. Because of the extended time involved and our current life changes, we may have to edit or recreate some paperwork to then put through the expensive sealing process again. 

I was really upset about this setback. We've worked so hard to do everything right, pre-approving our documents with CCAI. But it's so frustrating to check something off the to do list, just to erase the check and start again. I was in a pretty bad mood, feeling so far away from our next child. Then Ethan ran into my arms, smiling and giggling, holding tight around my neck. We are blessed to have a healthy and happy child in our home. I ponder how many other couples are dealing with setbacks today too, without a child in their home. I wonder how many children are dealing with setbacks today too, awaiting a forever family. In the beginning, one post-adoption family warned me that this journey was not for the faint of heart. I thought that would not be a problem for me, a determined and stubborn person. I've wanted and dreamed of this child for so long. Yet today I wanted to give up. 

Remember the child. The child waiting in China for us. After all the paperwork, bureaucracy, and fees there will be another child smiling, giggling, and holding tight around my neck. We cannot forget about our child.