Two loooong months

It has been two months since we were matched with Elijah. Two months since we first saw the adorable face of the child our hearts already loved. We are currently waiting on travel approval, which although it may be one of the shortest timeframes of this whole process, is seemingly taking forever. I've probably checked my email 1000 times already this week. I was so excitedly thinking of travel to meet him that I couldn't fall asleep last night. So much left to do to get ready, yet I would leave at a moments notice to bring him home!

Three rows done, fifteen more to go!

Article 5 Pick Up!

Today our adoption agency representatives in China picked up our Article 5 from the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou. For a year now I've seen others excitedly post about this in FB adoption groups. I wasn't quite sure why the elation, as it just seemed like another step in the journey. Then I learned that "Article 5" is the U.S. Central Authority's Approval for Hague Adoption, which is the last step before travel approval! Yay!!! Getting soooooo close...

I just learned from another CCAI adoptive parent that if we don't travel by January 20, the trip will be postponed until after Chinese New Year. So please pray we receive travel approval and travel dates soon!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas family and friends! Happy birthday Jesus! Happy half birthday Elijah!
The last two days have been a flurry of good food and great company. We've enjoyed fellowship with family and watching Ethan play with his new toys. Each little smile and giggle warms our hearts, especially knowing we have another sweetheart on the way. Ethan really enjoyed playing with his cousins, leading us to believe he will love having a brother.
We've been hoping for an update on Elijah. We submitted our five update questions to our agency in early November, but have not heard anything back from his orphanage. I also asked a parent traveling to Elijah's orphanage to snap a picture of him while visiting (if possible). The parent uploaded pictures today of children in Elijah's room, but unfortunately he wasn't one of them. My heart sank as I longed to see his sweet face again and make sure he is okay. Did he move to an older child room? Does he have a friend or favorite nanny in there? Is he living with a foster family? Is he at the hospital?  I don't know. In my heart, I want to believe he is in a safe place, celebrating Christmas with those closest to him. I'm so ready to pick him up right now!
God, thank you for the precious gift of your Son. And thank you for the precious blessing of my sons.

Elijah's Puzzle Page

Reflection

Last night I looked through lots of pictures trying to find a specific one. I was dreading this small task (as computers hate me), but turns out it was nice to reminisce. I looked through pictures of Ethan all the way back to delivery in the OR. Each baby phase had its trials, but oh how I loved holding and loving that sweet baby. I may not have pictures of us with Elijah to look back on, but I am able to reflect on our blog posts. I vividly remember the despair of each setback and the joy of each milestone. I hope this will show Elijah just how wanted and cared for he was, even before we saw his face.

Some pregnancies are planned while others are surprises, all leading to a beautiful little life growing in a Mommy's belly. Adoption journeys are always planned, as these children are longed for and fought for. Beautiful little lives already existing on Earth, but growing in a Mommy's heart. This journey has taught us so much, including the value of an orphan, love greater than understanding, and dependence on our Heavenly Father. Some day when Elijah has unanswered questions, I will remind him that we had plenty of unanswered questions ourselves, but everything worked out according to a greater plan than we could have ever dreamed.

Be One

Whatever is on your heart this Christmas, make a miracle of it.

"We don't feel ready
We don't feel steady
Question what we really have to give
Stay where it's safer
Claim faith, but waiver
Is this how we're really meant to live?

We pray but never move
We say but never do

A little something
Might feel like nothing
But in His hands it's all we'll ever need
To speak life to the broken
Watch the blind eyes open
It's who He's calling you and me
To be

We can be the change, be the hope
We can be the arms that don't let go
We can be a light in the dark
We are where it starts

It's time to get our hands dirty
Be love, there's a whole lot of hurting
Calling all hearts
Calling all hands
Calling all feet to take a stand
Why sit around and wait for a miracle to come
When we can be one"

Be One, Natalie Grant

New Beginnings

While we are waiting for Article 5 pick up, I'm daydreaming about Gotcha Day. When will we first hold Elijah in our arms? When will I kiss his cheeks for the first time? When will he lose everything he's ever known, but gain parents and a brother?
We won't know our travel dates for a little while longer, but today I've been reading about Chinese New Year. It comes on the first day of the lunar calendar, which is February 8 for 2016. Chinese New Year, also called Spring Festival, is a time for families to be together. It is the busiest travel season in China as people do whatever they can to see their family. (I feel like this describes our current situation pretty well as we are doing everything we can to bring Elijah to his family!) Cultural activities of Chinese New Year include firecrackers, dragon dances, hanging red lanterns, and giving gifts. People celebrate by eating lucky foods such as fish and Chinese dumplings. There are also superstitions like no cleaning, no crying, wearing red, and praying in a temple. All in all, a fun filled, week long holiday!

To the U.S. Consulate In China!

Yesterday we received our official letter from the National Visa Center, which we then forwarded to CCAI. On Monday, CCAI will deliver our NVC letter, DS-260 Confirmation, and other required documents to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou. At that point we will be waiting for "Article 5" pick up and THEN TRAVEL APPROVAL! Can you believe it?! All I want for Christmas is my two little boys!!!

Add your name to Elijah's puzzle and help bring him home at www.AdoptTogether.org/hanks.

   

One line down, seventeen to go!

Another Step Closer

Exciting Day! Today we received Elijah's puzzle in the mail! I can't wait to put it together and start adding names! Phillip and I received our passports with Chinese visas. The National Visa Center emailed us our SIM number and Invoice number. This enabled us to complete the form DS-260 to apply for Elijah's visa. Now we're just waiting on one more email from the NVC before moving on to the next step!

December is awesome.

My birthday was Saturday. As many of you probably already know, I celebrate it for quite some time.   This weekend involved eating baked goods, watching parades (although not actually celebrating me, they gave us candy), gingerbread house decorating, and Chrtimas tree decorating. Today I redeemed my Starbucks birthday reward, opened more birthday cards in the mail, and opened our I800 Provisional Approval from USCIS! Sometimes I feel this paper chase is like a video game. "When you earn this, it unlocks these next steps!" (Disclaimer: The next steps are more of the same paperwork, but you are getting closer to the goal.) The difference is that I'm playing a game I can actually win, for once.  ;)
I hope Elijah gets as much joy from opening his care package as I have gotten from opening birthday and Christmas cards. They really make this season awesome!

A care package for our bundle of joy!

Today marks one month since we were matched with Elijah. Time is flying by yet dragging on. It's hard to believe that tomorrow is December! Today I mailed to Elijah the care package we put together. It contained an outfit, socks, hat, and mittens as well as stickers, crayons, and a snack. We created a photo album of family and labeled each picture in Chinese. We also sent candy for the hard working nannies. I hope the package makes it to Elijah by Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving from the Hanks Family!
We are incredibly grateful for a loving God, one another, and our two adorable sons. We are so excited to come together as a family and live under one roof. We are also thankful for our family and friends supporting us on our adoption journey. Our post Introducing Elijah has been viewed over 350 times! We really appreciate your prayers as we move forward to the last part of this adventure. Please pray for the grant committee members to be moved toward Elijah and support our cause to bring him home. Thank you!

Mailed It.

The mail lady and I are on a first name basis. I see her A LOT.
Today I mailed our Visa Applications to a courier in Virginia. She will deliver our applications, passports, money orders, and supporting documents to the Chinese Consulate in D.C. Hopefully everything will be accepted, completed, and returned efficiently.
I mailed an envelope full of paperwork to our adoption agency, including checks, signed LOA, and notarized documents. We also sent a money order to pay the Orphanage Fee so we don't have to carry that cash to China. It blows my mind that less than a fifth of our total adoption expense goes to the orphanage. I am so grateful for the nannies' dedication, serving hands, and loving hearts. I wish this journey was less about the paperwork and more about the child.
Just another step closer...

Countdown begins!

Today, our agency mailed our completed Immigration Application to Texas. As soon as USCIS receives it, we will start the 9-12 week countdown to TRAVEL! While that seems like a long time, we still have a lot more paperwork and preparing to do, with two major holidays coming up. [Three if you count Ethan's birthday. ;)] We're getting so close!

Meant To Be

Several people have asked me what takes so long for an abandoned baby to be put up for adoption. For example, Elijah was abandoned in July 2014 but his file wasn't released until October 2015. Quite frankly, I have no idea. I assume it has a lot to do with bureaucracy and paperwork.
What I do know is that two days before Elijah was abandoned, I emailed my husband a letter explaining why I have always wanted to adopt and why this dream is so important to me. Most people's first thought after hearing the word adoption is expense, but that wasn't his angle. He just wanted to know where I was coming from so he could get on board. Having a beautiful, well cared for baby in our arms made it an easy case that there was another treasured soul out there who needed us. I also know that God has orchestrated this vision from the beginning and that I am incredibly grateful I followed my heart.
There have been frustrating, stressful, and disappointing times when we almost gave up on this dream. One such time was when we thought our homestudy was complete until CCAI reviewed it. It was missing so much information, even after our social worker had been working on it for months. But that nameless, faceless orphan kept us going. Our homestudy report was finally completed on May 6, our 9th wedding anniversary. That weekend we celebrated Mother's Day, and shortly after we emailed pictures of dossier documents to CCAI for review. Do you know what was happening across the world at that time? When I saved Elijah's pictures on my phone, they were sorted chronologically. Right between pictures of Mother's Day on a horse farm and four dossier documents, were pictures of Elijah's sweet, innocent face. An orphan waiting for a family, waiting to be loved.

We pray for peace and comfort over little  Elijah. He is not yet old enough to understand God's promises, but is old enough to know that we are strangers taking him to a foreign land. We pray for unexplainable love, understanding, and acceptance between us.
I wish I could sing to Elijah today and let him know just how good our God is. So many times I worried about errors and dealines, while still praying for the perfect match. After reading Elijah's description, I know he is just right for our family. While we still need quite a bit of funding to complete this adoption, I rest assured that God wanted us to take this path and He will give Elijah a family.
Thank you God for bringing the blessing of Elijah to us. We believe in miracles and your goodness. Continue your work to bring Elijah home.

Elijah's Puzzle Page

"Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way
Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always"

Always, Kristian Stanfill

(: Introducing Elijah :)

Introducing Elijah Garrett Hanks!

(Circa May 2015)

His is the sweet face for which we've waited. He was abandoned near a gate in his village, likely before he reached one month old. He was taken to the police station and then to a local orphanage, where he has spent the rest of his precious life thus far. Elijah is 16 months old and has cleft palate. Orphans that are never adopted into a family become outcasts of society. This young child, full of potential, needs a new beginning.
Elijah is described as "a quiet boy who has a ready smile and is very obedient." His nannies wrote: "He is a cute boy. We all like him and hope he could find a family who loves him, makes him feel the love of parents, and have a happy childhood and bright future. We believe he could bring more happiness to his future family." Even his nannies know that an orphanage is no substitute for a family.
We are incredibly excited to bring Elijah home and make him part of our family! We've waited so long to meet the boy that stole our hearts long ago. He needs parents to take him in a warm embrace, read stories before bed, snuggle after waking, give him guidance, provide for him, and create a sense of belonging. He needs family to enjoy fun activities, cheer him on, take him on vacations, and encourage his dreams. He needs a community to help educate him, model citizenship, and demonstrate leadership.
But before all of this, Elijah needs to make it home. He needs to learn trust of parents he has never met. He needs surgery for cleft palate repair. He needs to learn to speak, and in a language he has never heard before.

(Circa October 2015)

We are so grateful that you've joined us on this adoption journey. We are asking you to be part of his new family, new community, and new identity. One day he will ask us why he was abandoned, why he was born with a problem, and why he spent well over a year in an orphanage. He will ask us why we persevered through the long paper chase and why we chose him. He will ask who helped us through this journey and who wanted him brought home to the Hanks family. To help him see the big picture, we will give him piece after piece, trying to show him just how much he is loved.

Please be a part of Elijah's puzzle. Phillip and I will write your name on the back of a piece to be treasured forever. One day Elijah may realize he doesn't have a birth story or even an accurate birth date. He may notice that he doesn't have a baby book or know his first given name. When Elijah starts to forget how much he is loved and where he belongs, we can pull out this puzzle and assemble it again and again, to show our collective affection for this cherished little boy.

Elijah's Puzzle Page
(Donations are tax deductible)

This puzzle fundraiser is to help pay for the $10,000 trip to China to bring Elijah home. Elijah appreciates your generosity! We are thankful for your prayers!

Restarting The Paper Chase

Today I mailed our Immigration Application (I-800 plus I-864W and G1145) along with our signed soft LOA, five other documents, and two checks to our agency in Colorado. Everything should arrive by Tuesday. CCAI will review it all and send our Immigration Application to USCIS in Texas. Moving right along!

MATCH DAY!!!

Sorry for the delay... Being matched is like winning the lottery. You have to make sure the numbers match before you can tell the world the amazing news!
On October 30 at 4:59pm, we received the call. My heart stopped when the unrecognizable number from Colorado showed up on my ringing phone. I had just pulled into the parking lot at Ethan's daycare. Adam from the Waiting Child Team at CCAI introduced himself and gave me the most incredible news. We have a match!!! He told me about our child and I told him about the huge smile on my face. I told Adam that people tell me all the time what an awesome job I have but his is even better! It was all I could do to keep it together while picking up Ethan. I wanted to shout from a mountain top! When we got home, Phillip was cooking dinner. After settling in and waiting a few minutes for Adam's email, I opened a picture of our newest addition on my phone. I asked Phillip if he was ready to see his youngest son. He turned around and we both started crying while admiring that sweet little face. We were already in love! We reviewed the file over dinner, including pictures, a video, descriptions, and a medical report. We noticed several similarities in this child to Ethan. I think Ethan will enjoy having a sibling. :)

Seeing the face and learning about our child has definitely made all the paper chase craziness worth it. Oh, child of mine, you are long awaited.
We love you little Lovebug. We'll pick you up as soon as we can!

11/3 - accepted referral from CCAI
11/4 - sent Letter of Intent to CCAI
11/5 - LOI sent to China
11/6 - Soft Letter of Acceptance from China
11/9 - Official LOA from China to CCAI (We completed 2-3 months of paperwork in under 2 weeks!)

Stay tuned for more on our littlest one!

Dreaming

"Life is a journey, not a destination."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This waiting stuff is for the birds. But at least we're on the journey.
Adoption has been a dream of mine for so long that I can hardly believe we are waiting to be matched with a child. A real life person that will join our family forever!
I believe dreams and goals are incredibly important. They say a lot about our personality, priorities, and beliefs. What is your dream? Are you just thinking about the destination or are you already on the journey? I'd love to hear how you are pursuing your dreams!

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12

If we had not started this adoption journey, I believe it would always tug at my heart and be on my mind. It is difficult, but it is meant to happen. It is a part of who I am. Instead of being sick over a missed opportunity, this mom will forever be grateful for a dream fulfilled. And our child will have a much better life.
Take heart in knowing that God wants your dreams to be fulfilled. Sometimes our dreams seem intimidating or impossible, but we can accomplish anything with God. Have faith in His promises and believe in yourself. You have the power to make dreams come true!

"You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I Am

The veil is torn
And now I live with the Spirit inside
The same one, the very same one
Who brought the Son back to life"

You Are I Am, Mercy Me

Panda-monium

No news of a match yet, but we're still thinking about and praying for this little one. Not long ago, Phillip and Ethan were shopping when Ethan spotted something he wanted. It was an adorable beanie Panda with a red ribbon around its neck. Coincidence? Pandas are native to China and are proudly called the national treasure. The color red represents luck, joy, and happiness in Chinese culture. I think he's looking forward to a sibling. ;)

On Sunday, my friend Nikki visited with us. She lived in China for three years while teaching English, building relationships, and showing the Father's love. Oh the stories she can tell! Nikki traveled quite a bit while in China and was able to give us some tips. We talked about the language and culture of China, as well as the smog. I was concerned that the Chinese would look down on us for taking a child out of the country. But Nikki said that the people are excited when children are adopted and the new parents are treated like celebrities in China. I can't wait to discuss China with Nikki again! Nikki gave our little lovebug his/her first present. It is a beautiful piece of artwork from a shop in Beijing. I cannot think of a better start for this little one's journey. We're getting more excited by the day!

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice abd be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Legacy

Have you ever thought about leaving a legacy? What will it be?
At Daystar Church we’ve been talking a lot lately about legacy. Not just acquiring earthly things and leaving an inheritance after we’re gone, but having a vision and creating a legacy while we’re still here. In order to create a legacy, one needs a vision or a plan. You’ll know it is a legacy-worthy vision for your life when you realize there is no way you can accomplish it without Him.
My vision has always been adoption. People ask “Why China?” All I can say is that God put it on my heart a long time ago and I’ve never let it go. Adoption is a long, frustrating, expensive, amazing journey. I know that if God brought us to it, He’ll bring us through it. I believe our vision of adoption is leading us to our Legacy.
Chinese orphans that are never adopted eventually age out of the system, becoming outcasts of society. They don’t have a family name or belong to anyone. These children never know the love, security, and closeness of a family. My God rescued and adopted me into His family and gave me a new name, prompting me to do the same for a child.
I am finding it very difficult to come up with a name for the child we are waiting to meet. This child will already have a given name that was lost at abandonment. This child will likely have a generic orphanage name. But I want this child to know that we chose this name specifically for him. That this name comes with the new identity of a child that is loved in a forever home. One day this child may struggle with origin, abandonment issues, or lack of biological ancestors. Yet this child’s name should remind him that he is forever part of our family and our legacy. And that just like our first born, we wanted this child before we ever met.
May our name be remembered for loving His children. May our legacy live on well after we are gone.

A good name is more desirable than great riches.” Proverbs 22:1

"So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains"

The Proof of Your Love, For King & Country

L.I.D! L.I.D! We have L.I.D!!!

L.I.D!  L.I.D!  We have L.I.D!!!
This is really happening folks! I have butterflies in my belly! This was our last milestone to accomplish before we can be matched with a child. We were told that it could take 2-3 weeks for LID (Log In Date) after our dossier was delivered, but it took less than a day!
While we are waiting to be matched, the CCCWA will translate and review our entire dossier. The CCCWA has the ultimate authority to approve or deny our dossier.
Please pray for the CCCWA's approval and for our perfect match to be revealed.
Now we wait... for a file, a name, a smile! Stay tuned!

Dossier Delivered to the CCCWA

That was fast! Today our dossier was delivered to the CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption). Now we're waiting for that oh-so-important L.I.D. (log in date)...

1000+ Views!

Thank you for joining our journey! Our blog now has over a thousand views. We hope you'll stay tuned for all that's still to come!

DOSSIER to CHINA!

It finally happened! Our dossier was mailed to China today!!! Words simply cannot express our excitement!
So much energy and love has gone into the creation of this dossier. We know all the hard work will eventually pay off, but it's nice to start seeing some fruit!

We're on #7!

One Year In

It has now been a year since we took the first small step towards adoption by completing our Medical Conditions Checklist (MCC). Wow, a whole year! This first step was an important beginning, as it opened the conversation of what medical conditions we thought we could handle. As time went on, and I was able to discuss many of the conditions with medical professionals, we added a few more conditions. Even more important about this first step, is that it holds our place in line. After our dossier arrives in China and we have LID (log in date), we can be matched anytime! Usually the longer the time between MCC and LID, the shorter the time from LID to match. At least during dossier compilation, we were working on something, working towards something. After LID, we will just be waiting.

I'm thankful God gave me a spouse that would help make this dream a reality. And I’m so glad we took the first step of MCC a year ago!

"I’ve got all these plans piled up sky high

A thousand dreams on hold and I don’t know why

I’ve got a front row seat to the longest wait

And I just can’t see past the things I pray today

But when I fix my eyes on all that You are

Then every doubt I feel deep in my heart

Grows strangely dim

All my worries fade and fall to the ground

Cause when I seek Your face and don’t look around

Any place I’m in grows strangely dim

Strangely Dim, Francesca Battistelli

For Real This Time

Our remaining documents arrived in Georgia yesterday. This means our dossier is finally complete! (For real this time.) Today our dossier was mailed to Colorado for binding and translation. CCAI will mount our photos and arrange our documents in a professional red folder. They will also translate the most important parts of our dossier, decreasing the chance of misinterpretation. (Full translation will occur in China.) Thank you for all of the prayers over the last year! We appreciate every single one!

Keep Calm and Sing On

This morning I attended the prayer meeting at Daystar Church. Pastor Eric spoke about worshiping God not just with our heart, but also with our mind. So often lately, my mind has been bogged down with questions and concerns. So many thoughts swirling in my head. Our adopted child always seems so close, yet so far away. Sometimes during my prayer time it's hard to focus on anyone or anything other than this child and this journey.
In the background, I heard a familiar voice sing these words...

"The hopeless have found their hope
The orphans now have a home
All that was lost has found its place in you
You lift our weary head
You make us strong instead"

I stopped trying to focus and just let go. I let the chorus "Jesus we love you" melt my cares away.
This song was written by a couple with which we were blessed to enjoy fellowship at TCC. Paul and Hannah McClure moved to California and lead worship at Bethel Church. It was Paul's familiar voice that caught my attention. Hannah was pregnant with their son Ezra at the same time I was pregnant with Ethan. Paul obviously understands how I feel, as he said (in a video about the song) “leading up to Ezra being born was overwhelming.” While writing this song, Paul said “I was learning to choose thankfulness, to choose to be happy with the season that I was in and the process that I was in.” Although I first heard his words in February, they definitely ring true for me right now. I am being reminded every day to enjoy my life and my family as we prepare to grow. Don’t worry about the process, Jesus wants to bring this orphan home and so He will make it work out. Paul also said that “Life isn’t easy obviously but chasing after Jesus is, you just have to show up. Jesus wants to help and Jesus wants to be along for the ride. All you have to do is adore Him.” (By the way, have I said how thankful I am for prayer service, even at 6am? Thank goodness I showed up today.) Hannah adds “Thankfulness will lead us back to declaring his goodness.” Such powerful words! The more thankful I am, the more I bless His name. Thank you Paul and Hannah, for using that stage in your life to write a song that reminds us we have hope and rest in Him. That can definitely put one's mind at peace.
What are you struggling with today? What do you need to lay down so that you can be thankful and at rest? Find a way to worship God with your heart and your mind today.

Jesus We Love You, Paul McClure, Bethel Worship

Jesus replied "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind." Matthew 22:37

And just to make sure I'm practicing what I preach... When I picked Ethan up from daycare this evening, my car wouldn't start. Praise God this didn't happen last week in Raleigh, Charlotte, or King!

So Close

So Friday started with a cup of coffee all over my lap, every fetus I scanned in a terrible position, and a lunchtime phone call from CCAI. "All of the documents you sent look great, but…" Oh how I hate to hear the "but." Jaime explained that we were missing "sealed" background checks. We were mistakenly under the impression that the home study background checks were sufficient and only additional explanations or court documents had to be sealed. So our original background checks have expired. (I feel like China is very picky about all this documentation, but thankfully our adoption agency knows exactly what they want.) I was very frustrated at this news, but was forced to immediately swing into action. We only have a month to obtain and seal these documents, which usually takes at least six weeks of mailing. After a dozen phone calls and emails to our placement agency and home study agency, Phillip rushed to the court house to obtain the documents. Monday morning I drove 2.5 hours in torrential downpour and rush hour traffic (with a stomach ache) to the Secretary of State office in Raleigh. (Props to Google Maps for alerting me to a car accident ahead before I saw the firetruck, ambulance, and police pass by.) I had written 3 personal checks, filled out 2 envelopes, completed the Embassy form, and copied our passports. While waiting for the original documents to be authenticated, I used my phone to find a UPS store nearby. Since my stomach still hurt, I searched for a pharmacy too. Wouldn’t you know it, on the way to medicine, God walked me right by a Wells Fargo to purchase the money order I had forgotten about. After picking up the documents, I immediately drove to the UPS Store and mailed everything to a courier in Virginia who will hand deliver the documents to the Department of State and the Chinese Embassy in D.C.

I thought we were to the waiting part. As much as I dread it, I am also ready for it. I'm tired of the dossier frustration. Amidst the terrible Friday/Monday I was having, there were plenty of things to complain about. But as Pastor Ian once said, "I may have a hundred small things to complain about, but I have a million reasons to bless the Lord." That sure is the truth.

God, thank you for this journey, all that it has taught us, and the child we will one day meet.

Thank you for a helpful spouse, willing to drop everything to run an adoption errand.
Thank you for the twelve hour shift on Sunday to help make up the added expenses.

Thank you for my dependable car that wasn't in a wreck or broken down in the rain.
Thank you for KLove radio and Christmas CDs.
Thank you for the shorter return trip so I made it to work on time.

Thank you for supportive family and friends that pray with us for a completed dossier!

"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger

Your name is great and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness, I will keep on singing

Ten thousand ressons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, Oh my soul
I'll worship His holy name"

10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord), Matt Redman

What about you?

Several people have mentioned that they enjoy reading our blog, because they are also interested in adoption. Welcome aboard! Do you have a heart for orphans? Are you being called to adopt? This journey has lots of ups and downs, so you must be ALL in.
On Sunday I spoke with a friend that has two daughters adopted from China. Before beginning their adoption journey, she was told that "adoption is a bad financial decision." Well quite frankly, having kids at all is a bad financial decision. On average, a child costs approximately $250K from birth to eighteen years old. So why do people have kids? Because children are such a blessing! It makes no difference if that little bundle of joy is biological or adopted.
Pastor Allen Holmes' sermon on Sunday was very applicable for deciding to adopt (or really any big life decision). The message was about learning to live by faith. In Luke 5:17-26, the friends of a paralyzed man are trying to bring him to Jesus for healing. When they cannot break through the crowd, they resort to cutting a hole in the roof and lowering him down. Jesus sees their faith and heals their friend. From this story we can see that faith sees opportunity, faith takes action, faith takes risk, and faith leads to miracles. If Noah can build an ark on dry ground, if Abraham can move to a foreign land, and if Moses can make demands of Pharoah, I can certainly travel an ocean to bring my child home. It takes a lot of faith to begin an adoption journey, but I know my God is still in the business of miracles today. Are you ready to take a leap of faith?

Living By Faith, Daystar Church

"I have heard You calling my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So I will let You draw me out beyond the shore into Your grace

You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way"

You Make Me Brave, Bethel Music

Crank it up. Gain some courage. Take a first step towards your miracle.

On Waiting...

So on the forefront of my mind last night were many thoughts about waiting. How long will it be before our dossier arrives to China? How long will it take before we are matched with a child? How can we possibly wait several months after being matched before traveling to China?
The last three weeks, Daystar Church has been in a season of prayer and fasting. So I've been fasting sleep (to get up at 5am and be at the downtown campus by 6am). You might think I'm crazy, but these have been the most powerful and amazing mornings of my life.
Today Steve talked about "waiting for God's miracle." It's like he was speaking directly to me! Ok, maybe some of the other hundred people in there needed to hear his message too. But he spoke about Joshua 3. The priests stepped into the Jordan river with faith, not knowing what God was doing upstream, but believing in the miracle God was about to perform. The water stopped flowing from upstream and the Israelites safely crossed. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
This is similar to our story. We took the leap of faith to walk up to the river by signing contracts and creating a dossier. But now with every step we take (writing checks, accepting a child's file, traveling to China!), it seems we're getting deeper in the water, waiting on our miracle. Will this child be our perfect match, accept us as family, be happy in America? Are we in God's will for our lives and for this child's life?
If you want to be in God's will, be in God's presence. Give Him the opportunity to speak during your praise and prayer. Give Him your fears, doubts, worries, concerns and let Him work them all out. Give Him your attention, faith, and patience.  Give Him the opportunity to perform a miracle.
So here we are, wading in the water, waiting on our miracle. We can't wait to see what's been going on upstream!

One Year Bible reading today:
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your hearts desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.
Psalm 37: 3-7

Completed Dossier!

Our documents arrived back home for the last time yesterday. Our adoption dossier is finally complete! We started this large pile of paperwork in 2014, not realizing all the deadlines, headache, and anxiety that would come with it. Yet every step has been filled with excitement as we move closer to our sweet little one.
Today we added family photos, passport photos, and passport copies to the stack. Next stop for the dossier is our "local" branch of CCAI in Georgia. Our documents will be under critical review for missing or incorrect information. Please pray that our documents pass every inspection!
As I handed off the thick envelope at UPS, I realized it's now out of my hands. It is literally out of my hands. It is officially out of my hands. Everything is completely out of our hands.
It seems our part is finished, yet it is only beginning.
"Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
We trust that God is going to the care of all that is to follow!

And these are our notarized, certified, authenticated, and sealed documents!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered...

Documents made it home again. Today I mailed them to the Chinese Consulate in Washinton D.C. for final sealing!
In other news, Phillip and I are now applying for grants to help fund the remainder of the adoption process. Please pray that we qualify! We still have the majority of fees left to pay, plus travel expenses. We know this little one will require medical intervention and we want to be prepared to meet all of our child's needs.

Lean On Me

The other day I was thinking about how wonderful it is to have community. It started with a song on the radio, "Brother" by Need to Breathe. First I thought about my younger brother. How he helped us move into our first house and pull out overgrown shrubs with his truck, when Phillip was sick. I thought about my sister that cleaned my house top to bottom after my c-section and transfusion. I thought about Phillip's sister that cared for Ethan when I was working and Phillip was sick. I thought about my older brothers' helpful knowledge and words of encouragement. But it doesn't end with siblings. I thought about my parents and the infinite number of meals they have prepared for us. I thought about Phillip's parents and the endless miles they have driven to see us. I thought about my friends and church family, and all the times they've been helpers, comforters, and prayer warriors. We are so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by this amazing community!
And then I thought about a little baby, alone in a crib, on the other side of the world. No siblings, no parents, no grandparents. A bleak future if this child were to stay an orphan. (Tears rolled down my cheeks at a stoplight.)
But instead, this child will be brought home and loved. This child will be welcomed into a small family, an extended family, and a community of people that care about this child's well being. This child, just like our first, will have so many people to call on when the going gets tough. A sincere thank you, to all of you.

"Brother let me be your shelter
I’ll never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home"

Brother - Need To Breathe

Let's bring this baby home.

Notarized & Certified

Today we received our last batch of documents back from the NC Secretary of State. The documents have now been notarized and certified. Tomorrow I'll mail them to the US Department of State, an extra step because we happen to live in this region. Then back to waiting by the mailbox...

U.S. Immigration Approval!

Today we received APPROVAL from Immigration to adopt internationally! Hooray! In the mail was our I800-A Approval from USCIS. This is the last document we need for our dossier (the giant stack of paperwork that gets mailed to China). Now we begin sealing our remaining documents, including the home study report and Immigration approval. First up, mailing to the NC Secretary of State office. We are so close to completing our dossier!
(Ironically, we were approved on June 30, the day of my last post when I couldn't stop thinking about it!)

For the First Time

We are still waiting by the mailbox for approval from Immigration...
In the meantime, we enjoyed a lovely vacation with extended family. We spent a lot of time outdoors playing on the beach, swimming in the pool, and riding the golf cart. I truly enjoyed watching Ethan play with seashells, jump ocean waves, walk through a splash pool, and feed ducks all for the first time. His vocabulary is ever increasing, now including dog, bubbles, rain, duck, and all done. What a pleasure to see him grow and learn!
I've known for a long time that I wanted to adopt. I tried to soak up every second of Ethan's infancy, knowing that it would likely be the last time we experience the newborn/infant phase. Don't get me wrong, the sleep deprivation almost killed me. But the snuggles were so soft and the kisses so sweet. And who could forget all the firsts? There was the first smile, the first roll, the first crawl, the first word, and the first steps. Our adopted child will likely be over twelve months old when we meet. We may never experience many of this child's firsts. This bothered me for awhile, knowing that a nurse, nanny, or foster mom, all a stranger to this child, may see these firsts instead. Worse yet, no one may witness them at all, from a child left alone in a crib.
Yet as Ethan continues to grow, he reminds me that there are still so many firsts to come! First time seeing the ocean. First time chasing ducks. First day of Kindergarten. I may never have a newborn again, but I will experience so many firsts with our next child. We will start out as strangers, uncomfortable and unknown. But one day I will see this child's first smile in a safe home, listen to the first giggle with brother, and hear the first "Mama" and "Dada" to forever parents.

"Who brings our chaos back into order

Who makes the orphan a son and daughter

The King of Glory"

(Phil Wickham, This Is Amazing Grace)

Biometrics

Last week we received Form I-797C from USCIS in the mail. This letter gave us the appointment date and time to "capture our biometrics." In other words, we had to drive to Charlotte to be fingerprinted. We left really early in the morning to give plenty of time in traffic. It rained heavily and, not surprising, we passed damaged vehicles of two wrecks on the way down. It turned into a beautiful day though, with lunch and a little shopping, just the two of us. Now we wait for approval from Immigration before moving onto the next step.
Thanks to everyone that is helping make this journey possible. The support of family, friends, and coworkers is invaluable. It may take a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to bring home an adopted child!

I-800A Application

Our I-800A Application was received in Texas on May 7. (It is my understanding that we will know approval status within 90 days of that date.) The application was then forwarded to The Hague Adoption Unit in Missouri. Soon, USCIS will schedule a biometrics appointment for us to have our fingerprints taken.
Once we receive our I-800A Approval, we can start the sealing process for our final documents!

A Miracle in the Making

Tonight I read an article about a baby buried alive in China. When the baby was born, the parents didn't even want a birth certificate for their child, knowing it would soon be abandoned.

"The boy's family -- including the infant's grandmothers -- allegedly hired a man for $290 to get rid of the baby, according to Xinhua.

That day, the hired man left the newborn to die in a cardboard box in the wilderness. Two days later, believing the baby to be dead, he buried him, according to Xinhua.

Later, a woman who was picking herbs on a hillside heard a wail. With the help of a few villagers, police rescued the baby and sent him to the hospital.

Wu said the baby was in critical condition -- coughing up mud, his whole body covered in scratches and bruises -- when he arrived at the hospital.

The baby weighed 7.8 pounds when he was born. By the time he was rescued, he weighed only 5.9 pounds."

http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/14/asia/china-baby-buried-alive/index.html

This breaks my heart in so many ways. The baby in the picture had a cleft lip. This sweet, innocent baby survived but so many others have not. This could be my baby's beginning. I have always assumed I would be telling my child that he/she was given up for healthcare reasons. But this story reminds me that my child may not have been relinquished in love. That my child may struggle with his/her origins when a story like this is exposed. 
But have no fear baby, your life will get better and better from here. And we will love you forever, regardless of imperfections as we all have them.
Please say a prayer tonight for this little boy.

"No, I will not abandon you as orphans - I will come to you." John 14:18

Changing Labels

Perfectionist. Pragmatist. Pessimist. These words have described me, have labeled me. No matter where our labels come from, we become our labels if we don't change them. Our identity, our personality, and our character can become wrapped up in our labels. I'm not a fan of change. I don't even like updating or upgrading. Change is hard, but so very important. First, we should turn to Jesus for healing and replacing past wounds with truth. We receive a new name, a new identity. Daughter. Heir. Child of the one true King. Then we can grow, change, and develop new personality. Our new character shows love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. My new labels should be understanding, compassionate, and positive.

What if your labels were orphaned, abandoned, or deformed? Children are sensitive to words spoken around them. Some kids may claim false labels, leading to negative self fulfilling prophecy. As parents we must help change our children's labels. We must create an environment of grace, mercy, and trust in our home. We must destroy hatred, regret, and unforgiveness. We must display maturity, health, and strength. We must speak truth by openly communicating with our children. We must speak hope by telling our children that God has a plan for their future. We must speak life by praying over our children. And we must speak love to remind our children of their Heavenly Father's unconditional love. 

Inspired by http://subsplash.com/daystargso/v/a734abe

"Speak life to the deadest darkest night

Speak life when the sun won't shine and you don't know why

Look into the eyes of the broken-hearted 

Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, speak love, speak life"

TobyMac - Speak Life

A great video to discuss labels, bullying, and the impact of our words with kids.

Completed home study!

So today is another one of those "three steps forward, two steps back" kind of day...

The day started off with realizing two forms were completed incorrectly and may need to be completed and resealed again. Huge bummer. I was really upset a mistake was made and feeling the weight of this enormous task on my shoulders. I am tired of checking something off just to erase the check and almost check it off again then instead throw the pen. I was barely keeping my brain calm when my first patient of the day turned out to be a terrible situation. There is nothing like someone else's problems to put my own problems in perspective. So my brain gave in and I cried for her (and a little for me). I prayed "God, take this complicated process off my mind because I just can't do this alone."

A couple hours later CHS called to tell me that our Home Study (Pre-Placement Assessment) Report was finally complete. Hooray!!! We've been waiting on this report for a long time. When I returned to my first patient, I felt her sorrow. I could sympathize her pain. She reminded me that my joy of being one step closer to adopting, is someone else's sorrow in being one step closer to loss.

I planned to pick up the report during lunch break. On my way to CHS, I made a turn too early and needed GPS to get back on track. I thought I could get there myself but eventually turned to Google to help complete the drive. Wouldn't you know it, I ended up passing by a Post Office, which needed to be my next destination. So while my detour lost time, I had to ask for help and actually ended up right where I needed to be, even better off than before. God showed me He knows exactly where I am and can take me the rest of the way, perhaps on a better path than I had imagined. It's all in His perfect timing.

After I picked up the report, I mailed it with our I800A Application (for Determination of Suitability for Adopting a Child) to USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services). One more form completed. 

This song was playing when I got out of the car at work and when I got back in. 

You'd be amazed the places that I'd go to be with you, where you are...

Be still and trust my plan

I'm more than you think I am

(Danny Gokey)

I know He is with me. I need to be still and trust Him, to calm my overactive brain.

Finishing Touches

On April 20, CCAI (our placement agency) issued their notice of approval on our homestudy report. Wahoo! On April 21, the homestudy report was presented to the Children's Home Society of NC Board for final approval. Unfortunately after a week's review, the Board wanted modifications. So now the report will go back to CCAI again and be presented to CHS Board again. Please pray for a completed homestudy report! This process has taken way longer than expected and we are ready to move on.

Spring Shows New Life

Earlier this week I was consumed with heartache. For some reason, I was overcome with great sadness while thinking about our future child. So my mind wandered over various questions. Is my baby being abandoned today? Is my baby in pain or in surgery today? While driving home Friday, I noticed that the rain all week brought out lovely flowers and budding trees. Even amongst a time of gloomy clouds, we are actually in a season of new life. "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5) Hold on little baby, I'm coming as fast as I can. I bring with me your hope of a new life!

Today I am at peace with our decision to adopt and the lifelong journey we've started. Amongst our home study report setbacks and health issues, God has still been faithful. "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." (Isaiah 26:3) Our family, friends, and church have shown incredible support for us. We are so grateful to have such amazing relationships surrounding us. We've been blessed recently to meet a few more families that have adopted from China. They patiently answer questions and tell stories, which I love to hear. We've learned about specific online support groups and the Greensboro Chinese School. I know that bringing home a child with a special need, that has spent time in an orphanage or hospital will not be easy. I believe that our family, friends, and church will still be supportive then too. I have faith that my God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will continue to provide peace, joy, and love in our home. 

Keep on Truckin'

So we're still fighting the good fight. Last week we made phones calls, returned emails, edited documents, completed forms, mailed papers, and more. Hopefully our final home study report will be completed soon. In the mean time, we've been enjoying this beautiful weather. We are learning to be grateful for and enjoy our current blessings while pressing forward. We have faith in God's perfect timing and know that He is preparing our hearts for all that is to come.

Love like I'm not scared

Give when it's not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on You

for King & Country - Fix My Eyes (Lyric Video)

Setbacks

Today I received a call from our adoption agency CCAI. Unfortunately, it was not good news.

Our last home study meeting was at the beginning of February. We returned the edited rough draft of our home study report mid February. We didn't hear anything back for awhile so we started authenticating and sealing our other documents (to avoid date expiration). We were anxiously awaiting the home study report to apply for the I800A. Then we still have to authenticate and seal those two documents. In March I started calling our home study agency, CHS, for report updates. After receiving the rough draft from our social worker, CHS had to send it to CCAI for review. After all revisions, the report will then have to be reviewed by the CHS Board at a Tuesday meeting before finalization. 

CCAI called to say that our home study is missing several components. This may mean another meeting, some major revisions, and more supporting documents. Because of the extended time involved and our current life changes, we may have to edit or recreate some paperwork to then put through the expensive sealing process again. 

I was really upset about this setback. We've worked so hard to do everything right, pre-approving our documents with CCAI. But it's so frustrating to check something off the to do list, just to erase the check and start again. I was in a pretty bad mood, feeling so far away from our next child. Then Ethan ran into my arms, smiling and giggling, holding tight around my neck. We are blessed to have a healthy and happy child in our home. I ponder how many other couples are dealing with setbacks today too, without a child in their home. I wonder how many children are dealing with setbacks today too, awaiting a forever family. In the beginning, one post-adoption family warned me that this journey was not for the faint of heart. I thought that would not be a problem for me, a determined and stubborn person. I've wanted and dreamed of this child for so long. Yet today I wanted to give up. 

Remember the child. The child waiting in China for us. After all the paperwork, bureaucracy, and fees there will be another child smiling, giggling, and holding tight around my neck. We cannot forget about our child.